This week, our Gideon dug out his nice red box from the family dungeon, touched up the crimson with the blood of lower-income families, buffed it up to a handsome shine with the spunk of the 1%, and then paraded it around like a Foxton’s employee jangling a set of Porsche keys at a BBQ.

Welcome to the first unadulterated Tory budget in 19 years:

NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL AUSTERITY 2015

Top hits include:

• No housing benefits for 18 – 21 year olds!
• No maintenance grants for poorer students!

(coz you know, that’s totes unfair)

• Brutal cuts to tax credits!
• Some hefty relief on inheritance tax!
• And of course, that feel good hit of the summer, ‘The Living Wage’!

Barely concealing his semi during the chancellor’s speech, the announcement of the ‘living’ wage proved a bit too much for Iain Duncan Smith. Here he is fisting the air and shouting “Fantastic!” :

“Hehehe, good one Gaston!”

Fantastic. Except that it’s not a ‘living’ wage, it’s a new minimum wage. Only for people over 25, Gideon’s generous £9 p/h won’t take effect until 2020… Oh, and when coupled with the cuts in tax credits, this is how things are actually going to take shape:

In further a Donkey Punch to gender equality, research completed by the House of Commons this week has predicted that the budget will take a total of £9.6bn a year away from families in tax + welfare changes, and that a disproportionately large £7bn of that will be taken from women.

Hehehehehehehehehehehhhh, good one Gaston!

Iain Duncan Smith, I leave you with the words of Limmy: